On a long enough timeline, people who get out of fundagelical Christianity will get some form of re-conversion homework. This can be an offered book, a linked article, or even a petulant demand to reconsider saying no to an entire religion. At times, the attempts can be wrapped in passive-aggressive quips and ignorant tripe, like when Christians tell you that you didn’t meet the real Jesus (and should totally try to meet the right one). The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to say yes, and in fact it’s incredibly important to say no.
This is about setting healthy boundaries.
Demanding that people reconsider their faith with this new whatever is just another attempt to exert authority over a deconvert. There’s a lot of other implications that this entails – like the idea that someone can force another to reconsider a religion – but take those trappings away, and it’s about forcing someone to come to heel. Pretending that the demand itself is valid reinforces this notion in Christians who think they actually are able to sit in judgment over those who don’t believe.
That notion is pretty toxic. Rather than respect someone for being honest about a lack of belief, it means that this is just a challenge for fundagelicals to overcome. Deconverts are simply spiritual notches on the bedpost, to be violated repeatedly until they finally give up. And because a sense of authority underwrites this, it’s a duty for non-believers to be harassed. I mean, a lake of fire (or more passive-aggressive torment) awaits people who reject Jesus’s offer.
Saying no to this treatment and sticking to it is important, because it reminds those of faith that nobody has to share it or even like it. No matter what fits get thrown as a result (and there are plenty of them I’ve seen and heard about), it’s not any deconvert’s job to satisfy the whims of every Christian that decides to be a jerk for Jesus. Non-Christians are still people too, and it’s about time that Christians figure that out.
Until mutual respect is established, whatever faith-based demands can wait.
While I’ve been mentioning deconverts specifically, this also works for everyone who gets approached by people selling religious messages. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re being unfair, biased, sore, or malevolent. All it means is that you are not considering adopting Christianity. Any problems that arise from setting a boundary and enforcing it is purely the responsibility of whoever is trying to do the preaching.