Over the past few months, I’ve been sleeping more erratically at times. During the day, I’m excessively tired, and at night, I can’t sleep. This has affected my ability to write, because the time of day that I usually use to do it is taken up with sleeping or trying to stay awake. Even if I have something to do, I typically go do it and then return home for a nap. Compared to how I used to function, this frustrates me to no end.
Medication probably isn’t the only cause of this.
I’m on two different chemicals that cause drowsiness, but I’ve been on them long enough that it shouldn’t be causing me as many problems. Even with my allergies acting up at times, I still can’t use both to explain why I’m tired all the time. It’s been something I’ve been going through for years now, and it should have been getting better instead of worse.
For example, yesterday I slept off and on for most of the day. At night, I wasn’t tired even until 3 in the morning. I woke up this afternoon at 1. My whole morning was wasted. Trying to get productive after that is an exercise in trying to avoid being angry at myself. Most of the time, it doesn’t work. Even now, I’m trying to fight back yawning, despite having slept more than 8 hours.
All I can think of is that it’s keeping me in a bad place.
I’m trying to finish up a novel I started work on last year. That can’t happen if I’m sleeping. Slowing work on it means that I have to push back publication, which means I’ll be stuck at the mercy of others for longer. It’s hard not to get despondent about that.