Diminished Capacity

Over the past few months, I’ve been sleeping more erratically at times. During the day, I’m excessively tired, and at night, I can’t sleep. This has affected my ability to write, because the time of day that I usually use to do it is taken up with sleeping or trying to stay awake. Even if I have something to do, I typically go do it and then return home for a nap. Compared to how I used to function, this frustrates me to no end.

Medication probably isn’t the only cause of this.
I’m on two different chemicals that cause drowsiness, but I’ve been on them long enough that it shouldn’t be causing me as many problems. Even with my allergies acting up at times, I still can’t use both to explain why I’m tired all the time. It’s been something I’ve been going through for years now, and it should have been getting better instead of worse.

For example, yesterday I slept off and on for most of the day. At night, I wasn’t tired even until 3 in the morning. I woke up this afternoon at 1. My whole morning was wasted. Trying to get productive after that is an exercise in trying to avoid being angry at myself. Most of the time, it doesn’t work. Even now, I’m trying to fight back yawning, despite having slept more than 8 hours.

All I can think of is that it’s keeping me in a bad place.
I’m trying to finish up a novel I started work on last year. That can’t happen if I’m sleeping. Slowing work on it means that I have to push back publication, which means I’ll be stuck at the mercy of others for longer. It’s hard not to get despondent about that.

20 thoughts on “Diminished Capacity

  1. I have a friend and a daughter with a similar problem. I also have a similar problem. About 3 months ago I read about and started using this recipe to great success. My friend and my daughter are expressing similar results.

    Take a banana left in the peel and cut off each end. Place it in a pan of boiling water (1 quart) for 10 minutes. Add a teaspoon of cinnamon to it for additional flavor. Drain the water from the pan and drink 1 cup before you go to bed. Refrigerate the rest.


    Good luck !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah man, can I relate to this! Barring any physical illness this sounds like a huge symptom of depression. Do you think that’s what it is? Erratic sleep just makes it worse. It’s a horrible cycle.

    I take 2 Benadryl at night, as prescribed by my psychiatrist, to help me sleep. I’ve tried weaning off of it several times but then, like you, I end up staying up till the wee hours of the morning. I hope you find whatever works to help you sleep. Once you do you’ll feel much better and that’ll help you focus on writing.

    I’m sure you’ve read all the research on how to have good sleep habits and all that good stuff but that can only help so much. I recommend a call to your doctor about meds.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I really don’t know what’s causing it. This used to happen for shorter periods of time when I started on meds, but it got better over time. Now I’m just sleeping at inconvenient times. I want to say that it’s the sleep during the day that’s causing problems at night.


      • Yes, definitely sleeping during the day would cause this problem. I’ve been doing this weird thing of sleeping 4-5 hours at night, waking up at 6 to get my kids ready for school, then going back to bed when they leave and sleeping away my morning. Why do I do it? Because I’m bored – I have too much time in the day with nothing to do. Er, I have stuff to do but it’s boring stuff. So I avoid it by sleeping.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I understand the medication causing drowsiness. I take serious medications for the bone and muscle problems I have. All of them can cause drowsiness. Some of the ones I take are two types of morphine’s, muscle relaxers, other pain medications, all have that same side effect. The thing is after years of using them I do not get the drowsy effect. However I know other things in your blood can cause it. I know when I start to get as you describe to go get my blood tests as I am most likely getting very anemic again. IF I get where I can’t sleep due to my mind not shutting down I have to go back to the stronger anxiety medications. Ron has hemochromatosis and when he gets really tired and run down it is his iron levels being way too high. So I have no real ideas to offer other than you know your body. It will lead you to the right actions you and your doctors think you need to do. I wish you the very best. I am sorry your new book is delayed. I enjoyed your first book a lot. I also understand the idea of wanting to be independant. I will say one thing I have to watch is not being in the dark too much. Because of my own issues with depression Ron made sure my new office had a very sunny window, and lots of lights, also my door to my office is mostly windows.

    Liked by 3 people

    • That sounds like a really nice office setup. It sounds like my ideal work environment. Well, except if I was independently wealthy I’d try to be on a house on the beach.

      I wish it would rain more often here. Rain always helps me sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Too bad you can’t come sleep at my house. We’ve had over 25″ of rain since the first of October … and today it’s pouring again!

        I agree that sleeping during the day can really mess up your sleep patterns. But when you simply can’t keep your eyes open, what can you do?

        Liked by 2 people

    • I love it, but with being a diabetic I had to switch from bourbon to clear rum. Clear Rum has no sugars so I can drink till I get enough pain behind me , and then can sleep. Plus it is less expensive than bourbons. I agree with the idea, it is a sound approach. Just one thing, make sure you keep eating, at least twice a day or your tummy will revolt the next day. Hugs

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  4. I have always been a fitful sleeper and I know that anyone who finds it hard to go to sleep will feel empathy for you.

    One thing I heard some years ago was that sleepiness comes in 90 minutes waves. If you catch the wave you go to sleep, if not, well you know. So if in the evening you feel that sleepy wave coming on, try to go to bed to catch it.

    Laying awake in bed when you can’t sleep is very unpleasant.

    I hope things improve for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hope you’re ok, I know the feels of sleep problems. All I can say is, if you think it is the medication then maybe it’s time to look at it again? There’s no point taking something that isn’t working, and sometimes the only solution is to keep trying till something works, the side effects suck but sometimes you have to do it.
    The only other things that I can suggest is staying active during the day to try and train your body to get tired at night.
    And in all reality, was actually the weed that put me back into a proper sleeping routine, but obviously that is an open for opinion thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sleep is the hardest thing for me because I have insomnia. My new anti-depressant makes my insomnia even worse and no meds seem to be working for sleep. Going to the Doctors today re-examine my options. Good look. It’s so difficult. Yesterday I tried so hard to get into my writing but just wasn’t able to due to lack of sleep from nights of insomnia and rotating medications that haven’t worked.

    Last night I finally was able to sleep but found that I had to immediately lay down after taking my PM med for sleep the minute I felt any sort of fatigue, lights out and no stimuli. I’ve been working on my bedtime routine while trying to juggle a toddler, work on blogging, and edit the novel I’d like to get published.

    Good luck, I know it’s a real challenge trying to find a balance when dealing with depression and sleep issues. My heart goes out to you. Seriously. 🙂

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  7. If I was to put my armchair psychologist’s hat on, I’d say it sounds like you’re avoiding something. But my armchair psychologist’s hat also doubles as a fool’s hat, so take it as you will.
    I hope you’re able to turn yourself around if you haven’t already. I hate being awake all night, so I feel for you.

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