It’s Getting Harder to Pretend

/ Sirius Bizinus

Image courtesy of Stockvault.

Easter is supposed to be a happy time. For people who nominally believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus, it can be a time of random celebration, being together with family, and entertaining children with candy and gifts. More hardcore celebrants can take this time to look down on the Easter-Christmas crowd and demand new pledges to their lord and savior.

Easter is a complicated holiday for me now.
This isn’t just because I don’t believe any of it anymore. Rather, it’s the additional reminders that I have to actively pretend I like hearing a gruesome message repeated for the nth time. To simply ask that a subject gets changed has, in the past when I’ve tried it, earned a fiercer display of religiosity at best. Even when I try to ask for some middle ground, it’s too much.

To be sure, if I was able to be completely away from this atmosphere I don’t think I’d be having the same problems. Instead of making things better, I realize things are getting slightly worse. Religious holidays and celebrations serve as constant reminders that even I must make room for the faith of others without any consideration for my own well-being. For reasons that I am all too familiar with, it is not enough that people celebrate their holy days; they must brand others with it as well.

What purpose does any of this serve?
If anything drives me to anti-theism, it will be this time spent giving my patience to others while getting nothing in return for it. No matter how hard I try to live in harmony with others, it feels like I’m always having to sit and listen to yet another faith-fueled example of misanthropy. Fortunately I have this place to vent, but it’s getting less productive as time goes by.

19 thoughts on “It’s Getting Harder to Pretend”

  1. Yesterday, Biker Dude and I were talking about how my family has dealt with my change in beliefs. They are not Christian fundamentalists but are very fundamentalist in nature, if that makes sense. All considering themselves enlightened and spiritual.

    Since the change in my beliefs I have not pushed any buttons and have extended myself to the point of holding back on participating in discussions because when I have at their request, it gets ugly. They get defensive and I’m left there staring at them wondering why they asked in the first place. What I realized is that changing one’s beliefs is “pushing buttons” to them. It’s a catch-22. Stuck. Trapped. No where to turn.

    I have felt blogging served a purpose too for venting but more and more I’ve grown tired after seeing years of nothing changing in certain relationships, it’s exhausting. I do know that when I am geographically removed from the situation I fare much better.

    Just wanted to share. I identify with a lot of the stuff you vent on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have been convinced that if they could just see things from a different perspective, they’d finally understand what they’re inflicting on others. And you’re right that it’s not just one faith or subset of a faith that does it. That mentality is like a black hole, devouring all who get too close.

      Perhaps I should focus on the time when I can get away, when I can spend time in full restoration away from it all.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hello S.B. I know you live in the southern US, but is there no atheist or free thought group you can spend time with? What about online chat rooms? Just having a chance to voice your views and to hear people talk about stuff without religious overtones might do wonders. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    • There are free thought groups, but they can only do so much. The problem I’m having is that I’m returning to an atmosphere where I have to endure super-religious thinking. Right now I’m coping by keeping away from the offending people, but I live in the same house with them. It also doesn’t help that they’re on Facebook constantly, sharing awful stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry. I had hoped any fresh breath in the smoke filled room would help, but I did not think about how it would feel to have to go back in that environment and not say something that would cause a problem. Best wishes. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m in an almost identical situation. It doesn’t help that no one cares that I clearly don’t care about or enjoy church services or religious discussions or events… it’s just what we do, no questions asked. It’s getting pretty old.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The other day my family was talking about the proper way to dispose of the extra wine after holy communion. They kept going on about it, because to them they’re disposing of extra Jesus blood. Finally I had to sarcastically ask about the wafers, and wonder if they were required to make little sandwiches out of them (ham and cheese in between bits of savior, if I recall correctly). The discussion finally changed, but I’m wondering if my humor isn’t going to get darker as time goes on.

      Hopefully soon both of our circumstances shall change for the better. Until that happens, I wish you the best as you cope.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Some of them do not do the candy baskets, eggs, and bunnies because of the pagan roots of the holiday (despite other pagan concepts which have made it into the faith). Others do not celebrate it if they don’t believe in the divinity of Jesus.

      That said, it is somewhat of an Easter celebration for more fundagelical people to chastise other Christians for not being hardcore enough in celebrating a blood sacrifice.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. We’re nearing the end of Easter Sunday here, and apart from the mention of hot cross buns, Easter eggs, and occasionally the Easter bunny, you wouldn’t know it was Easter. Not one of the 5 churches I’ve passed during the week have had any sign/billboard with an Easter message, so one could be forgiven for not realising that Easter is supposedly a Christian celebration. Here it seems to have taken on the trappings of the original pagan festival except that it’s out of season, being autumn here.

    Perhaps, SB, you need move to a more secular location at times of Christian festivals.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have a strong hunch there are many readers of SB’s blog that wish the same were true of where they live. Instead, it’s total saturation … some states (southern) worse than others. You are fortunate indeed.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. For me, my parents were more liberal Christians and most of my family seem to have abandoned religion now. So Easter and Christmas holidays are more for just enjoying time off with some drinks and maybe chocolate lol. I can’t speak for people with more stricter religious family members, that would be a different story.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks. I don’t think it’s an issue for (most of) my family anymore, but it’s my religious friends who I’ve known all my life who will have a problem with it. Do many of your friends know you’re atheist yet?

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  7. After a while it get’s fucking exhausting dude. I try my best not be an asshole about it, but I can only see so many posts about fucking Passion of the Christ being a “great movie” before I want to grab the bourbon and get off Facebook.

    Beautiful summation of my own sentiments by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

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