Skipping Doses

/ Sirius Bizinus

Image credit: Jonathan Harris.
Image courtesy of Stockvault.

Okay, so anyone who takes medication for a mental illness will understand that sometimes you can’t remember to take everything on time. I’ve missed a couple this week because I usually take them at night before going to sleep. They make me tired, so I can’t exactly take them in the morning. I have to go a full day before taking a new dose.

I know the medications work because when I’m not on them or the dose changes, things get weird for me. There will be more anxiety or depressive episodes. My concentration gets blown. Knowing my head chemistry is changing makes it harder to remember to take the next dose. It’s easy to get defeated.

Today my mind’s been out of focus. I’ve been fighting random thoughts, and it gets tiresome. Naturally, I worry that others will take this to mean that I’m not taking my medicine on purpose. Then I remember I have no evidence for it, but I do end up recalling the times when family has overreacted to my condition. It’s like I can’t win no matter what.

Another problem is that I know I’m fighting this time of year. I most likely have some form of seasonal impact on my depression, or at the least it’s so aggravated that even slight changes will make it worse. On top of that, I’m having a real tough time with allergies, which makes me tired all the time. People might mistake that for depression symptoms, which feeds my worries all over again.

At times like this, it’s quite easy and understandable that I might just get frustrated and give up on the whole process. Doing that means giving up on myself, and if no one else will advocate for me, then I must have to. It’s hard feeling isolated and plodding on. What I end up having to tell myself is that I will focus on today, and tomorrow can just get in line.

Missing a dose can make things pretty bad at times. It hits people differently for different reasons. There are too many voices out there – real and imagined – that will try to take advantage of this momentary weakness. So much energy has to get put into not listening to them. But that energy is worth the investment.

15 thoughts on “Skipping Doses”

  1. Hello SB, reading your post gave me a horrible thought. If handing medications and medication changes is hard for you, someone I think has a great handle on your illness, how must this affect others not so in control? How does the medication changes and the way to get medication harm those who may be homeless or in other trouble? You have given me something to think seriously on. I wish you the best. Hugs

    Liked by 3 people

    • There’s a couple issues. First, there’s an issue to access. Too many people go undiagnosed because they don’t have access or knowledge of providers of mental health services. Second, there’s an issue of getting an accurate diagnosis and effective medication.

      All of this adds to the problem of mental health in the States. Even the few people who can get access might not get effective treatment.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I don’t have any reasons to be forgetful and I still am! My latest favorite saying is–“not only is my short term memory bad, but so is my short term memory”. Have an awesome day!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Yes, forgetting meds can really mess you up. It totally puts me out of commission. I have a great support system though. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, SB. That energy is most definitely worth the effort. Hang in there, bro.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Do you have the questioning panic sessions? Did I or didn’t I? Was that today or yesterday? What day is it again today? I know, I’ll work backwards to figure out what I did today… Or better, I’ll count the pills – but wait, what if I missed another day and didn’t notice?
    At the moment I find taking notes helps. With dates, times and sometimes even related information.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I sympathise SB. There are no migraine prevention medications, but a known side effect of some medications is the reduction in the frequency and severity of migraines in some sufferers. These meds include beta blockers, anti-seizure drugs and antidepressants.

    So I’ve been prescribed a variety of these drugs over the years in an attempt to control migraines, and I am only too well aware of how they can affect thought patterns especially when dosages change. Antidepressants particularly clouded my memory and as you experience, caused severe drowsiness. I never found a satisfactory regime to ensure I always took the correct dose at the correct time and frequently found myself in a “did I, didn’t I?” situation. I suspect the fluctuating doses was why I ended up with Serotonin syndrome on one medication and Neuroleptic malignant syndrome on another. Not pleasant I can tell you, especially the way they play “mind games” with you.

    I seem to be one of those people that experiences the worst of any medication side effects. These days I prefer to life with migraines rather than suffer the side effects of medication.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’d like to share this with my sister. She has migraines too, and she was taking antidepressants for their intended purpose. For a while, she was having problems managing both, and I don’t know if any of her doctors let her know that the medications can affect both symptoms.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, some doctors are good at letting you know of possible side effects and risks, while others seem to assume you know them or know how to find out. I was fortunate that during most of the “experimentation” with medication my doctor had the attitude of “All drugs are poisonous, but some have good side effects”. I think he was ver wise.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Would it help to keep some sort of visual reminder near your bedstand at night to help remember the meds, or use something like a checklist ?

    I definitely tend to forget things myself, especially if I have a lot of stuff on my mind.

    And, certainly don’t give up. Gentle hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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