Mandatory Devil Fun Time

/ Sirius Bizinus

Don’t worry. Satan’s not in any pain. He’s just hangin’ out.
Image found here.

This post by Mak got me thinking about all the times I’ve been accused of secretly advocating devil worship – or at the least being fooled by Satan. People will read something I’ve written about religion and just plainly ignore it. Threatening me with eternal hellfire will work because it’s flashy. Or something.

I’m realizing that I’m not doing a great job of being an amoral heathen devil worshiper.
A lot of other atheists are in the same boat, too. They lead lives where they do things like read books, talk about not-religious stuff, and practice hobbies. As far as I can tell, nobody’s leading others into lives of debauchery and sin. I feel like I’m letting Christians down by not living up to their standards.

So, today is going to be a mandatory devil fun time day (trademark and patent pending). I’m not sure why it falls on today. Maybe 2/22 is one third of 666? Or maybe it’s because it’s so random that I’m secretly channeling commands from THE DARK ONE directly. If you can come up with a better excuse, let me know in the comments.

Also, I don’t want to limit my unholy servitude to just one bad goat-person-man-bear-pig. As an atheist, I’m open to options. Maybe worshiping Yahweh’s wife, Asherah could be a thing. Would I have to call her Goddess, or Mrs. God? How did she feel when Yahweh went behind her back and fathered Jesus with some other woman?

I’m getting off topic.
Anywho, I think today should be a fun day filled with doing at least one thing that makes you happy (preferably that doesn’t involve committing a felony). Maybe take a break from Lent. Maybe go skateboarding in a public park. Or maybe starting a brand new cult and filing paperwork with the IRS so you can live a tax-free life.

Personally, I’m going to go fly a kite, weather permitting. I wonder what the etiquette is for prayer to Satan. I hope it doesn’t involve dancing.

13 thoughts on “Mandatory Devil Fun Time”

  2. I’m quite sure that one of my life missions has been to rescue as many people from religion as I possibly can, before I die. I can see how Christians might view this as “reverse recruiting” or something, to the side of evil. What is evil? Genocide? Murder of infants? Demeaning language? Constant, unappeased anger? Acts of incomprehensible cruelty? In fact, every descriptor that comes to my mind when I think the word “evil” is irrefutably portrayed by the character Yahweh, in the Holy Bible.

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    • Based on the vitriol I’ve received over the years, I think that the idea of reverse recruiting is just the excuse for someone to say terrible things to another human being. It’s easier to do if that person isn’t human or worthy of human dignity. So now people who threaten the faith are evil monsters that need to be fought.

      It also says a lot when the very idea of the perfect divine being has to dehumanize its creation in order to deal with them. If the divine is the ideal virtue to aspire to, is it any surprise that this gets emulated?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Before you leave on your walk, be sure to put the baby in the oven, otherwise it won’t be done by dinner time.
    Not hard to see all of the scurrilous talk coming from Christians. The Bible is full of lies about pagans (there were also lies about Christians as we are talking about a very human behavior … making up negative shit about people we do not like).
    This all comes about because we are all gossipers. Gossip was invented to make sure everyone in the tribe would know about any misconduct of the others. It also has a control built into it, but it only worked in small groups. If someone started lying about another in a small tribe, they could get called out and punished for saying things not true.
    But with the invention of the Internet, we now have gossip with no controls (and lies, propaganda, bullshit, even bullshite)! Ah, the wonders of technology.

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  4. Funny that if I was a Christian, which I am not, I’d think Trump was the anti christ and most republicans his minions, of course which they are. Or maybe he is there’s. Anyway they whole lousy group epitomizes what a good Christian should NOT be…..but hey, who ever said religion had any relation to logic or truth. And there is a big agenda now…abortion and gay rights. Forgot nuclear war, the environment, helping the less fortunate and world peace….that’s just silly stuff compared to the big “two.”

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  7. Oh My Satan! This is one of your very best posts! I can hardly wait to celebrate “devil fun time day” (hope I’m not overstepping your pending trademark). I’m thinking maybe several glasses of wine/beer/booze? Or just being “evil” all day (based of course on the Christian definition).

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  8. Love this idea. I admit I am one of the bad atheist that have not done much to promote the devil fun time . My fun time today was grand. I bloged, made a video, read others blogs, did comments, replied to comments, watched videos, and answered emails. Now I am off to make super for my hubby. So far a perfect fun time day. You have a great one. Hugs

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