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It was a decent meeting last night, but I don’t think it will work out. Basically I need a support group, and RFR meetings aren’t the place for that. They are more of a starting off place where people can figure out where to go after a major crisis of faith. Unfortunately, I’m past that point, and I need to deal with more hardcore issues than a random meeting can provide.
I still do think RFR fits a particular niche for people who are just starting out questioning their religious outlook. It is designed for that, and group facilitators can connect people with resources they might need – regardless of whether they want to be religious or not. This also means that meetings are not support groups, since people who attend aren’t necessarily going to make the same decision about religion in their life.
Of course, a big part of the problem is me. I can’t share everything about my deconversion with a group because it scares people. That’s a huge barrier to interact with people. Additionally, I’ve used humor as a mechanism to hide all of the scary stuff, and that humor is ill-placed in a group setting. I don’t know if some people appreciate it, but I do know that I get unhappy with myself because it’s something I can’t control.
Right now, it’s easy for me to feel lost. Fortunately it’s not a new feeling. It will eventually subside, and I’ll just be back at square one.
Amusing Nonsense 
I was just reading a book on where emotions (aka feelings) come from and according to the latest findings it appears that we create our own emotions. So, we could be in a crowd and feel lonely. Such feelings is well attested. So, if the are feeling lost (accepting your interpretation) are you waiting to be found or are you looking around you to see if you are really lost? (When I was learning to drive I was lost, while on the main street going through my home town … which I realized shortly thereafter.)
Maybe you have tagged the feeling as “feeling lost” but it is something quite else. I do know that the way out of confusion, sadness, etc. is to go through it to come out the other side (ending the experience) rather than backing away, which is rejecting the experience, leaving it there to be experienced later (and feared, and ….).
Good luck my friend. You may be lost but you have a great many fellow travelers.
On Wed, Aug 8, 2018 at 9:37 AM, Amusing Nonsense wrote:
> Sirius Bizinus posted: ” It was a decent meeting last night, but I don’t > think it will work out. Basically I need a support group, and RFR meetings > aren’t the place for that. They are more of a starting off place where > people can figure out where to go after a major crisis ” >
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SB, this
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Having never been in the least bit religious, it’s hard for me to relate to having troubles with deconversion. To me you just one day or slowly, realize its all a bunch of bs and the real world is far more interesting, exciting and has so much more to offer. It should be a no brainer. Who wouldn’t want to be free!
Find like minded people who are already free or have have always been so. Many of the blogs here can be of help to you as well. Be free…you deserve it!
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I left my faith before I knew about groups or blogs or anything like that-the olden days of 1999-2000- I think of it today as sort of like going through the stages of loss; denial, grief, guilt- fun things like that. It is not an easy path but take what you can from where you can. We are taught in religion that there is “one correct answer” and I think we still look for that without realizing it.
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