Mixing Detox With Mania

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I’m supposed to be working on a novel, but detox from Wellbutrin has been kicking my ass. The effects while I was on the drug were unacceptable. Off the drug, they’ve gotten a little worse before getting a little better. It’s something I haven’t experienced before.

After doing more digging, I’ve been experiencing something akin to a manic episode. My thoughts have been racing. I’ve engaged in risk-taking behavior I don’t normally engage in. The best way I can describe it is like I’m in the passenger seat of a car going 100 miles an hour. I’m aware of the consequences of some of my actions, but I find it hard to focus on them. Instead, I go through periods where I just don’t believe those consequences will affect me.

I found out today that mania can be a symptom of withdrawal. To be fair, it’s been something plaguing me while I was taking the drug. I can expect withdrawal symptoms to last the next few days to possibly a few weeks.

Beyond the mania, it’s been wreaking havoc with anxiety. Part of that comes from recovering from the mania. Another aspect is that the drug can give effects similar to cocaine when snorted or injected. I wasn’t abusing the drug, but it’s something I wish I’d known before starting it.

All I can do is ride this shit storm out. I know I have to be patient with myself. It’s not going to be easy.

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