Most of the meeting tonight was people from the local freethought group. It felt like a nighttime version of a weekend morning meeting. We talked about a bunch of stuff. All in all, the meeting was okay as far as meetings go.
But it still isn’t doing it for me.
I don’t think my problem is with religion in general. Rather, I think it’s in the specifics of being around hyper-religious people. It wasn’t enough that I pretend to believe what they believe, I had to be made to believe it with every part of my being.
Another part of it is being told that the manipulation I’d suffered wasn’t manipulation. No, it’s being led by the spirit. Or it was an incorrect teaching. Or it was some other excuse I’m too exhausted to type out.
There’s got to be a better way for people to deal with the fallout from being forced to believe in angels and demons, and then being forced to have it all being explained away later on in life. If what happened was wrong, then it is wrong.
Right now I don’t have any answers.
The angels and demons stuff are mere glitter and not the essence of Christianity. It is more about relationship with God and Christ that brings a wonderful glow into our lives.
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Sorry, Carl, but it’s comments like this that simply reopen the wounds that SB has been hoping would scab over. Try to understand … he’s no longer a believer. And from all indications based on his writings, he has NO desire to return to that position.
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Hey, SB. Many years ago when I was a newly minted atheist, I attended an atheist meet-up. I felt like an exile from the only country I’d ever known and like a war refugee, looking for help and a new home. I got the vibe from this group that I was weird, and even foolish for having been a believer. It was not the group for me.
I’m fortunate to have individuals in my life whom have given me a new “home” over the years. Some of them are even believers, much to my surprise! I wish you success in finding your tribe. Don’t give up!
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From your descriptions (and the things we have in common) I think there’s a specific aspect of religion/religiosity that harmed you and that’s the authoritarian part. Saying you were being “led by the spirit” is a way of taking away your control, your will and even your sense of self. These manipulations are a way of breaking down any sense of security you have so you have no choice but to conform to the religious mindset.
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I think it’s the authority coupled with realizing how little justification there is for it. It’s feeling loss at an exponential rate.
Maybe I should develop a heroin habit.
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