Image courtesy of Stockvault.
I haven’t been writing my novel as much recently. Things picked up for a brief bit, and then other projects got in the way. When I got back to it, I realized that I was in an important part of the story I was working on. There’s a lot of emotion involved.
The whole thing is loosely based on my journey out of faith. My protagonist is my faith. He’s trying to rescue the qualities of me that I had to sacrifice in order to maintain it. Where I’m at is the first quality, compassion. Although I have compassion for other people, I lost my compassion for myself.
In a way, I need to get this right because I need to get right with myself. Every part of me is in this work. The more I write, the more of myself goes into it.
There’s a reason why it’s horror. My destination is a dark place, enthralled to a dark entity that everyone else swears is good and holy and just and the most wonderful thing ever. It is my hope that people will read it and think.
But they won’t read it if I don’t write and publish it. The work is worth it, but it’s taking more time than I want. All the while, I’m forgetting to be gentle with myself.
Amusing Nonsense 
Sounds very cool… and knowing you’re putting so much of yourself into the story only makes it more intriguing. I also reached a turning point with my book, once I decided to just let myself run with it. Good luck as you continue to hammer the keyboard!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are such a kind soul for putting people’s needs first by sharing your worthy life experiences. Always love yourself. I think sometimes we need to make a decision for our next life direction, be it a big or small one. This is your basic need.. your heart desire ❤️ to contribute. Take a short break to do something else then turn back to writing with a clearer mind, maybe. I am doing my postgraduate study on mental health. Sometimes I feel tired wondering why I am doing this but not letting a mentally healthy person to do the research work. I feel better after taking short breaks for other necessary or leisure activities without guilt, as I know it’s not about the outcome but that I am living every second as mentally healthy as possible. It’s not about my research, it’s about how I live my life overall. Just sharing. I hope you will feel better ❤️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Again, your experience is normal. This is why professional writers have routines considering how much time they spend writing in a day, where they write, what they do, etc. Some writers read what they wrote the previous day, religious,y as a way to get a running start on continuing. Others sequester themselves in a writing room/closet/etc. My block would always come when a review or critique came in. It would sit on my desk and I would stare at it, often for days, unwilling to open it up and see what others thought of my work.
If what I am writing is emotionally intense, I have no choice to continue because all night long when I would wake or partially wake, ideas would be running through my head. Sometimes I have to get up and write them down, just to get some peace.
All is normal. Press on … make do, make do.
LikeLiked by 2 people