Last night I had problems sleeping. Switching to Daylight Savings Time sometimes does that. It highlights any problems with sleep. Since I’m changing the time, my head doesn’t want to catch up.
I realized that I can’t really focus on one thing for too long. My head goes through tangents like I’m channel surfing. I’m hopping from thought to thought without being able to just slow down. I get restless if I try to focus on something.
Are these distractions? I’m not sure. It’s probably how my mind deals with things. If there’s some kind of stress I can’t handle, my head will jump through hoops in an effort to keep me away from it. The only other thing that works is a depressive state. I don’t want that.
Right now my only outlets for relaxing my thoughts are mindless entertainment. Even then, it has to be gripping enough to wrap my mind around what I’m watching (like TV or YouTube). It’s not shutting off my mind. It’s just directing it to one topic. Afterwards, I have the same problem again. My mind will not stay in one place for long.
Also, yesterday I heard my name being shouted. My first thought wasn’t, “What do they want?” It was fear. I was working on my computer and I just froze. All my attention went to waiting for another shout. In that instance, I was held still until I heard enough to tell that it wasn’t even directed at me. My heart slowed back down, but I wasn’t able to get back to work.
I wish I could live outside my head sometimes.