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Last night I had problems sleeping. Switching to Daylight Savings Time sometimes does that. It highlights any problems with sleep. Since I’m changing the time, my head doesn’t want to catch up.
I realized that I can’t really focus on one thing for too long. My head goes through tangents like I’m channel surfing. I’m hopping from thought to thought without being able to just slow down. I get restless if I try to focus on something.
Are these distractions? I’m not sure. It’s probably how my mind deals with things. If there’s some kind of stress I can’t handle, my head will jump through hoops in an effort to keep me away from it. The only other thing that works is a depressive state. I don’t want that.
Right now my only outlets for relaxing my thoughts are mindless entertainment. Even then, it has to be gripping enough to wrap my mind around what I’m watching (like TV or YouTube). It’s not shutting off my mind. It’s just directing it to one topic. Afterwards, I have the same problem again. My mind will not stay in one place for long.
Also, yesterday I heard my name being shouted. My first thought wasn’t, “What do they want?” It was fear. I was working on my computer and I just froze. All my attention went to waiting for another shout. In that instance, I was held still until I heard enough to tell that it wasn’t even directed at me. My heart slowed back down, but I wasn’t able to get back to work.
I wish I could live outside my head sometimes.
Amusing Nonsense 
I have the same issue. I’ve been trying relaxation exercises lately which sort of work. I lay on the ground with legs bent (knees up, feet on the floor), breathe in through the nose while counting to 4. Hold for 2, exhale through mouth counting to four. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes it helps. If you keep doing it you get better at breaking the thought pattern you were stuck in at least.
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I think my therapist is going to start working with me on stuff like that after she gets a better idea about my stressors. I’m willing to try anything to even mitigate the problem.
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My primary stressor is basically my own mind. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m flooded with negative, self-destructive or self-loathing thoughts, or just bad memories. And then of course a scene in a movie, a tone of voice, a song on the radio – and here we go again 🙂
So stopping what I’m doing, laying on the floor and actively fighting it is a necessary step if I want to eventually find a way of making it through the day without so much turmoil.
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