I’ve been busy, but not busy, the past several weeks. All of my writing inspiration as of late has turned to heavy subjects. There are short stories I want to get ready for submission, but they’re all very grimdark and depressing. It’s like I’m trying to write for Black Mirror, but without any of the high notes.
Although I’ve published stuff with my writing group every year, I haven’t submitted anything else in a while. Think of it as being afraid to finish anything. Or having a mind that wanders off in the middle of something important – every time there’s something important.
Most likely this is something going wrong with my brain chemistry (at this point, my latest therapist will comment that I’m SO SELF AWARE, which isn’t as awesome as it’s intended to sound). Life keeps changing around me no matter how hard I try to keep myself the same. The results have been something which has harmed my creativity. All of this shouldn’t be a surprise, but I’m dismayed by my seeming invulnerable frailty.
Still, life isn’t necessarily something which I should focus on the things going wrong. I have written a post today, as lackluster as it might be. At least the attached photo is nice to look at.
4 thoughts on “FFS Just Write Something”
I think trying to stay the same is a futile effort, because times will always change, and so will we. Sometimes the best we can do is to do the best today. Not for tomorrow or next week. Wishing you the best on your journey!
Stuart said what I was thinking. Why do you want to keep yourself the same? It sounds like you fear changing into something less. Could change be improvement?
Life is change. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I do know that change is happening every moment to everyone. Change means we aren’t doomed to stay the same, we get to become better and more fully ourselves—if that’s the choice we make.
The photo you included is indeed beautiful, but paired with your post, it reminds me that we rarely take pictures of times of transformation. Changing is painful and hard. It is the beautiful result we often take photos of, but the result cannot exist without the pain of change. Keep going, eventually, there will be lovely things to photograph.
I’m glad you wrote something. How many times have I thought exactly that, FFS! Keep going, you have an audience here and we are listening.
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