Binging Jesus Doesn’t Sound Right

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Because of where I live, Google likes to send me the latest popular ministry’s take on reconnecting with Christ. Recently, I got to watch a video where a fundagelical TV producer went on about his clever hashtag: BingeJesus. Apparently there’s never been a multi-seasonal TV fanfiction series on Jesus’s life and gruesome – but totally awesome – death. Until now.

I’m tired of the invites.

At the risk of being told I’m not being fair to the spiritual sales pitch, I’m tired of hearing about it. Yes, I know what you’re selling. No, I don’t want it. Really. I promise. Nobody’s told me anything new in the almost eight years I’ve given up on faith.

Already I feel like I have to defend the decision, even though there’s no reason for it. Nobody tells me I’m biased against capitalism for refusing to listen to a sales pitch. Why should anyone else’s feelings matter in this decision? They didn’t matter before they tried selling Jesus, and they won’t matter long after they’ve fucked off.

This doesn’t mean I lack sympathy for people out there trying to sell Christ to the masses. I know many really believe in a supernatural rabbi who could raise the dead. From their perspective, I’m turning down an offer of something awesome in favor of eternal torment. I’m rejecting their beliefs, and in a sense I’m rejecting them as people. Right?

It turns out, I’m tired for a reason.

During my process of recovering from my religious beliefs, I became aware that I couldn’t justify any beliefs in the divine. More than that, I’m pretty sure most supernatural religious beliefs do not have a bearing or effect on reality. Yes, I know some people will proudly tell me how obnoxious I sound for pretending to know an answer to a supernatural question.

However, I choose not to entertain a whole host of other ideas. I’m not afraid of robot dinosaurs, or alien death squads. I’m not afraid the Monty Python foot will come down and stomp me out of existence. I cannot give any fucks when asked to care about unicorns or dragons. Philosophically, I can’t disprove the existence of any of these things.

It doesn’t make them real.

I know I sound dismissive of people who think that some dude died for their sins, that heaven and angels are real, that hell awaits me and my sarcastic attitude. I’ve spent my whole life being very aware of how upset these people can get when you tell them things they don’t want to hear. For the longest time, I thought it was my duty to put up with it.

I still find it hard to accept that it is more unreasonable for people to ask me to believe in magical bushes and great floods than it is for them to leave me alone. For the most part, I appreciate when people leave me alone after I tell them I’m not interested. But it doesn’t stop people from paying Google or some ad agency to sell their claims elsewhere.

I don’t think I’ll binge Jesus.

For starters, considering what I was taught about communion, I keep picturing people asking for more when the bread and wine get passed around. No, it isn’t what the TV person meant. But it is pretty funny.

More to the original point, an additional dramatic representation of Jesus’s supposed life isn’t something I need. There have been plenty of others that I have seen. One can’t go to the churches I’ve been to without hearing some version of the story again. And again. And again.

I’m sure there are many people who will like the latest depiction of Jesus & His Twelve Dudes. That’s great for those people. For me, it’s just a reminder that people will still try to sell me something I do not need or want.

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