Okay, this post is for people who are new to anti-depressants. They affect everyone differently. When I started my first anti-depressant, I wasn’t ready for the massive changes in mood and thinking. I blamed myself.
It turns out that, no, it wasn’t my fault. Brain chemistry is delicate. Changing that chemistry can have weird side effects. Like being happy one moment and then wondering who ran you over with the feelings train the next.
Therapy is going to help manage the ups and downs. I’m coming off my previous anti-depressants, and my mood changes constantly. Nowadays, I have this ability to recognize after a few minutes that what I’m experiencing isn’t the end of the world. Some neurons are just having a party, and I’m not invited.
So if you have this problem with your meds, it’s going to be okay. Some people have to pay loads of money to have the experience you’re having. You get the thrill of a roller coaster, exhilaration of cheating death, despair of human tragedy, and exultation in glory all on the way to the fridge for breakfast.
No, it’s not fun to experience. But with practice, you can roll with the punches and try to find that positive thing to hold onto. My positive thing is inappropriate humor. No matter what, I can count on myself to horse laugh at my own misfortune.